Am I a Burden?
We've all felt like a burden before. It sucks and it makes us not want to ask people for help with anything.
That's the question: when you ask someone for help, are you a burden? The answer may be yes, but not in the way you think.
Think about the last time you felt overwhelmed with how much you had going on in life. Imagine during that time your friend came to you and needed advice. On some level, would you feel annoyed? Or impatient? Or like you are simply to overwhelmed to deal with their problems as well as your own?
It's okay to say yes.
Now put yourself back in the shoes of the person asking for help. Are you a burden in that moment? No, you aren't. But your request, situation, or problem might be to that specific person at that specific time.
I want to make something clear: you are not a burden. You are a human being. A precious child of God. Your existence is not a burden; it is a blessing.
What I'm talking about is a matter of timing and knowing who to ask for help.
If I'm in the middle of a panic attack, or cramming for an exam I forgot about and my friend comes to me asking for relationship advice, I'm going to tell her I love her and I'll help her later. She is not a burden to me, but in that moment, her need for help is.
Think of it this way: the person you are asking for help may not have the tools or ability to help you. This is especially true when asking someone to help you with your anxiety. They may not know how. They may not be able to. They may not have the tools to do that.
That doesn't make you a burden. And if someone makes you feel like one, that still doesn't mean it's true. It just means they don't have the ability to help you at that time. It doesn't mean they never will, or that they don't want to, but sometimes they can't.
We all have a limit on the things we can handle and finding someone's limit does not make you a burden to them. That's why it's important to have more than one person you can trust and ask for help. Your problems might be too much for one of them sometimes.
I find starting the conversation with something like "I have a situation I could use some help with. Is now a good time for you?" a good way to go. Let the other person say no and don't get mad if they do. Remember that they've probably got their own stuff and maybe they're already carrying someone else's.
We all feel like a burden to others sometimes. Sometimes, our problems are too much for someone else to handle. And that's okay. But you as a person are not a burden. You are a blessing. And your feelings are valid and your problems deserve a listening ear, you just need to find the right one.